One of the biggest mistakes that I have made in life was getting involved in another relationship when I clearly should’ve been healing from the previous one. This is actually a common mistake made in society, we have this belief that we need a relationship to heal from a relationship. Just saying that actually sounds crazy.
Once I learned that in order to actually heal I needed time to grow and focus on being a better person for myself, that’s when I truly understood how important it was to be single for a period of time. I know that sometimes just hearing the word single scares us. All we can think about is how lonely we may be. I was involved in an on and off relationship for about 8-9 years, when that relationship was extremely toxic, inconsistent and emotionally damaging. Once that relationship was FINALLY completely over it was very hard for me at first to appreciate being single.
The relationships that I ended up in after that long term relationship never lasted long, for a number of reasons, but mainly because I wasn’t ready.
I’m sure everyone has heard the saying “hurt people hurt people”, and well it is true. We take all of our insecurities, doubts and fears into the next relationship and hurt people who may have actually cared about us. The right person wrong time scenario is also true, like maybe that next relationship would have worked out if you had completed the healing process.
So I made up in my mind that I wanted to be emotionally healthy before involving myself in yet another relationship.
This may have been one of the best decisions I made! I shifted my focus from wanting to be in a relationship, to wanting to be healthy and happy. I spent more time reading, getting organized and checking things off of my goal list. I developed a healthier relationship with God which helped me to discover my purpose. In that time I was able to:
1. Publish my first book
2. Launch a business
3. And now I am working to establish a certified non-profit that will help others discover, fulfill and protect their purpose.
See being single doesn’t have to be a drag when you are focused. When you learn to heal you get a newfound level of peace in your life. And you understand that it doesn’t mean you will be single forever!